The Parent’s Guide to Uber Sexy Bedroom Decor
This article was originally published in the March edition of Badassery Magazine
Okay, stop me if you’ve heard this one. You’re young. Ish. At least you don’t remember getting older than 28. But here are your nights: You’ve got kids. And they. Are. Tough. And exhausting. And God love them, they are sucking up all your energy.
At the end of your day, you stumble into your master bedroom, turn on the TV or open your book for all of two minutes before you pass out. In your sweats. Not entirely sure if your partner is even on the other side of you.
Wake up the next morning with children jumping on you with glee waaaay too early in the morning and drag yourself out of your bed to start the routine all over again.
You know this scenario? Yeah, me too. But you know what? There are ways (EASY ways) to spice up this routine. To get back in touch with your sexy side and believe me, that partner of yours? They’ll notice too. C’mon, I want to show you some spicy bedroom ideas. And what follows? Well, that’s up to you.
I believe in decorating for the senses. It’s not enough to LOOK pretty. It has to go way beyond that to be a living, breathing, room. So let’s start with the most sensual of senses: touch.
Sexy bedroom decor: touch
Skin is in fact your largest organ (which I was COMPLETELY unaware of. I could have sworn it was some intestine or the other). But it makes sense, right? You feel things from the tippy top of your head all the way down to your toes. And all the delicious places in between. So let’s make that the first topic to tackle.
Bedding: the parts that will have the most contact with your body (oh no, there are no clothes at this sexy bedroom party). Make them soft, luxurious and serene. I suggest white, cream or other barely there color. To me? Whites are the ultimate in luxury.
And, yes, I know, the kids. But these don’t have to be every day sheets. They can be the, “oh yeah, let’s get this on” sheets that are brought out on special occasions. The same goes for the duvet. White. Big. Fluffy. WASHABLE! There is even a style that is super hot right now where duvets have a wrinkly lived in look. Perfect! That just described your whole house! It’ll fit right in! Relax and enjoy.
Sexy bedroom decor: sight
Now let’s move on to visually sexy parts of your master bedroom. Layers. Sumptuous textural layers. Add a throw at the foot of your bed. Imagine curling up your toes (or other body parts…..) in a faux fur throw. Nestling together in it. Add some color. Lounge on beautiful sexy pillows that whisper “boudoir”.
But MOST importantly, let’s talk lighting. Do not, by any means, use the abomination that is the overhead light. It makes me cringe and make wrinkly faces just thinking of it. I mean, c’mon. Light from above? Puts shadows where they do not need to be. Also, romantic is never a word I would associate them with. So just don’t.
Instead, use mood lighting. Put table lamps on your nightstands. Sconces on each side of the bed are great as well. Candles? If you dare. I’m usually worried I’m going to catch something of mine on fire, so they end up being less sexy than I intended. But you may be way more coordinated than I am. They don't cost a lot and add a huge bang for your buck in the sexy department.
The point is: set the mood. Lower lights make everyone look sexier. And they’re easy to reach over and turn off if you get my drift.
Sexy bedroom decor: sounds
Next up? Let’s tackle sounds. I am a sucker for a good mix tape. And Spotify? Has become my best friend in this area. There’s a playlist for everything. I kid you not, there’s one called “Sexy As Folk”. And it’s actually pretty great once you get past giggling at the title.
But you choose. Have a favorite nostalgic album for you and your partner? Pull that baby up. And this? THIS is an appropriate way to use those damn phones that are permanently attached to the ends of our arms. But only to get the music going! After that, into the nightstand drawer they go and no texting/Instagramming/Facebooking for the night. Not. Sexy.
Sexy bedroom decor: grand finale....
Last but not least, and this is a big one: lock the door. I’m not saying do it every night. I’m not insinuating that you should deny your child(ren) of their parents. What I AM saying is that every once in a while, they can pour their own cheerios in the morning. You deserve it. Your partner deserves it. Make it so.
Now, after all that loving, if there ends up being a nursery in your future, you’ll want to check out my five part series covering insider tips and tricks you need to know about creating a unique, personal, earth-friendly and stylish little nest for your tiny one. Get started here!